Thursday, September 29, 2011

2 rough draft

Samuel Fajardo

Once upon a time there was a boy named Peter Smith. He was a nice boy; good at sports and he was popular. However, when he got to school everything went bad; he sucked at school and Bob Murphy didn’t help. Bob Murphy was a nerd who loved to bother Peter because he thought he was dumb. Peter had tried really hard to be good at school but he just couldn’t. He had a tutor and that's why he hadn’t been failing any class but the tutor recently died of a heart attack.

Poor Peter, what was he going to do? To make things worse, his parents are kind of cuckoo and he had to take care of them because they were very old and couldn’t afford a nurse. His uncle paid Peter’s tuition in the best school possible, the CNG.  The uncle only paid because he never helped in the past and now feels guilty and wants to make up for it by paying for his brother’s sons’ education. However, he is not nice to Peter.

At school, most people were normal.  They had all a 3 as an average, but there was always the kid who almost failed each year but managed to pass, that was Peter. Most people lived in big houses but Peter lived in a small home with his old and sick parents.

Peter only got cheered up when he saw his best friend Jimmy Delano (They became friends because Peter got in a fight when he was very young, and Jimmy backed him up). Jimmy never bothered Peter because he knew his situation and his DEEP DARK SECRET (He knew it because he bothered Peter once, and saw how Peter turned into a monster/human but he managed to turn back to human).  Since that incident, Jimmy is very careful about the way he treats Peter.

One day after lunch, Bob Murphy was being more of a jerk than usual and he was bothering Peter and as they were reaching their math class, it finally got to him. He became a monster!!! (He king of looked like the cookie monster from  sesame street just that very scary). Zoom he ran fast, he started to destroy all the homework in CNG, everyone asked themselves why homework? And then Jimmy said that Bob bothered Peter all the time about his bad homework. Peter didn’t stop after CNG, he went after all the homework in all the schools of South America. Homework was disappearing, and after only five minutes there was no more homework left in the whole world.

After Peter the monster destroyed all the homework, he went back to CNG and made his den/home in the math room. Everybody was afraid of him, he was so angry his skin turned blue. Each day he attacked a teacher but Bob Murphy was the one who suffered the m0ost. Peter made sure that he paid back for the 3 years he had been his victim. After 2 days after Peter had taken over the school, the CIA and the FBI arrived at the school. After planning what to do for hours, someone finally shot the monster but it the bullets melted as they touched Peter’s skin. What were they going to do? He couldn’t be touched by metal because he was so hot that the metal melted. The president of the FBI said that maybe he couldn’t melt plastic. Everyone laughed and someone yelled out: "what are we going to do, make bullets of plastic? Hahahahahahah, he replied,  "No we are going to hit him with the strongest tranquilizer in the world". At dawn, the snipers were ready to shoot,  they took different places around the Math room. The monster had woken up and as soon as he was about to eat another teacher, the first plastic tranquilizer hit him. At first, Peter only felt a little dizzy, but after 20 shots he had past out. As soon as the CIA and FBI agents got 15 feet away from the monster, he started to rise and went to the Heaven of Homework, where he was punished by Esob; the leader of the homework gods, for his actions of destroying HOMEWORK, now no one would worship them by doing HOMEWORK.


Samuel Fajardo

1 comment:

  1. I liked how his name is very simple. Very ordinary. He sounds like the all american boy who has a good heart but isn't so good at school. I also like how he starts out being just another kid, and turns out to be a monster. I would say add some more events and info about how and why he turns into a monster.

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